The Awkward (But Necessary) Bridesmaid Money Chat
You know that weird feeling when you’re about to ask your friends to be bridesmaids and you really want them to say yes…
…but your brain is already doing the math on how much it might cost them?
Yeah. That.
That is one of the most awkward parts of wedding planning that no one warns you about.
Because on one hand, you want your girls to be there for your special day
Buttt on the other hand?
Dresses cost money.
Hair and makeup cost money. Hotels, travel, shoes, bachelorette trips — money, money, money.
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And if you’re not careful, suddenly your “will you be my bridesmaid?” moment turns into an unspoken game of
“how much can you afford to love me?”
And I get it…
It’s hard.
No one wants to make their friends uncomfortable.
But also
You deserve clarity.
They deserve clarity.
And nobody should be walking on eggshells trying to figure it all out on their own.
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And the best thing you can do is thank them for being real with you, tell them you still love them, and maybe even get creative — could they still be involved in a different way?
Could you help with one of the bigger costs if you really want them by your side?
There’s no wrong way to do this — only the kind that makes everyone feel respected.
So let's talk about it— all of it.
What’s “normal,” what’s actually fair, how to handle it if someone says they can’t afford it, and how to have these conversations without them turning into a weird, awkward spiral.
We’re making it make sense today — money + bridesmaids edition.
Let’s go girls👭
So i'm going to break the “rules” for a second.
Some people will tell you bridesmaids should pay for their own dresses, hair, makeup, shoes, flights, hotel — everything.
But should they have to?
That’s the real question.
Because let’s be honest: life be lifing.
-Your best friend might be paying rent in a city that feels like a scam.
-Another might be saving for school.
And just because they love you doesn’t mean they can automatically afford hundreds of dollars in wedding stuff.
So here’s what I always say: if you can cover something, cover it.
Whether it’s hair, or part of the dress cost, or even just their hotel for one night — anything helps.
It shows that you see them.
It says, “I appreciate you showing up for me, and I’ve got you where I can.”
And for the parts they’ll cover? Just be super clear, super early.
Don't leave money stuff as a surprise.
Don’t let it be an awkward whisper 3 weeks before the wedding.
When you’re asking them to be your bridesmaids, or shortly after, that’s your time to have the chat.
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And it dosen't to be like some kind of presentation or spreadsheet.
Just a heart-to-heart like:
“Hey, I’m so excited to have you in this with me. I know being a bridesmaid can get expensive, so I wanted to be upfront about what I’m covering and what I’d need help with.”
That’s it.
And if someone says, “Babe, I love you, but I actually can’t afford to be a bridesmaid right now”?
Don’t take it personally.
That’s courage.
That’s honesty.
The best thing you can do is thank them for being real with you, tell them you still love them, and maybe even get creative — could they still be involved in a different way?
Could you help with one of the bigger costs if you really want them by your side?
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There’s no wrong way to do this — only the kind that makes everyone feel respected.
To wrap it all up...
Money talks don’t have to feel scary.
Just lead with honesty, stay soft where you can, and remember
...your friendships matter way more than those matching robes.
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