How to Create Your Wedding Guest List (Without Stressing Yourself Out)
Raise your hand if you’ve ever sat down to make your guest list …and then immediately stood back up and walked away
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Yeah...
It's just one of those tasks that seems easy until you actually try to do it.
And then suddenly you're wondering who’s supposed to be there, who’s expecting to be there, and how to not start a family war over it.
That is why creating a guest list is always so sensitive and tricky
...because everyone and their grandma tends to have an opinion.
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But you don't have to let it get the best of you
That's what i'm here for💗
I'm going to walk you through How to Create Your Guest list - step by step
...without overthinking it
Step 1: Start with the kind of day you want
Before you even list a single name, ask yourself what you want.
What size feels good to you?
Don’t stress the exact number yet - just land on the kind of day you want.
Intimate?
Medium-size?
Everyone-and-their-dog?
Because that decision affects everything.
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There’s no right or wrong
But being clear on what you want will help filter a lot of noise when everyone starts dropping hints or “suggesting” who to invite.
(And believe me, the hints will come.)
Step 2: Do a brain dump and categorize
Now once you have decided what kind of wedding you want.
We're going to sort out your guest list
So now in a book or the notes app…whatever works for you
Write down all the names of people you would want in your wedding if money wasn't the issue.
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We’re trying to do a guest brain dump so don't be stingy with this ….write down all the names
Then we're going to sort them into 3 categories
Category A: Your absolute must-haves.
The people who have to be there. Like, your day wouldn’t feel right without them.
Category B: The would-be-lovelys.
You love them, they’ve been part of your life, they’d make the day sweeter - but if space or budget gets tight, you might be okay without.
Category C: The maybes and the guilt-invites.
Coworkers you only talk to on lunch break. Distant cousins. Your mom’s friends.
People who are nice… but not essential.
….
Remember: putting people into categories doesn’t make you heartless - it makes the decision-making less overwhelming.
You’re trying to create a day that feels like you, not a high school reunion.
Step 3: Look at your budget
This is where guest count starts to meet reality.
Every single person you invite means food, drinks, chairs, maybe transportation… so it adds up.
Look at your budget and ask:
How many guests can we realistically afford?
How does that number compare to my A, B, C list?
If the numbers aren’t adding up, trim from the bottom
(start with Category C).
The goal isn’t to squeeze everyone in — it’s to have a day that feels like you.
Step 4: Involve the people who are contributing
If your parents or in-laws are helping out financially, chances are …they’ll want a few invites of their own.
That’s fair.
But talk about it early.
Don’t wait until your list is locked and laminated.
Say something like:
“Hey, we’re working on the guest list now - how many people would you realistically like to invite?
so can we figure out how many extra spots we can give you?”
Simple. Respectful. Clear.
Step 5: Decide where you stand on plus-ones and kids
This is where the guest count can double if you’re not careful.
Here’s what you need to decide:
Will you allow plus-ones for everyone, or just for people in long-term relationships?
Are kids invited? Or is this an adult-only event?
Whatever you choose, be clear and consistent.
You don’t owe anyone explanations ...just honesty.
So write this down and answer it: What’s my plus-one and kid policy?
Step 6: A Tip; Don’t build your list out of guilt.
This one’s tough but necessary.
But if the only reason someone is on your list is because you’re afraid they’ll feel bad if they’re not …maybe they shouldn’t be on the list.
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You don’t owe anyone an invitation to your wedding.
Especially not if their presence will cost you peace, money, or ...a smaller cake😔.
You can’t make everyone happy.
And trying to will only drain your joy.
Last thing: Know you’re about to set a lot of boundaries.
Like… way more than you think.
And it’s not because you’re being difficult.
It’s just what wedding planning comes with.
People will have opinions.
People will ask for things.
People will try to insert themselves, even when they mean well.
And if you don’t already know how to say, “Thanks, but no,” you’re gonna learn fast.
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Cos at the end of the day, most of them are not thinking about your budget, or your emotional capacity.
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So yeah ...the first few times, might feel weird
like you're dissapointing them
But the good news is people will adjust.
They always do.
(and even if they don't?
Honestly they can go.
...cos, those are the kind of people that will make your wedding planning process so much more frustrating.)
Now before i conclude ...a quick lil side note
Once you’ve done all this work, it’s time to actually manage the list.
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So I created something to help
(especially if you’re not hiring a wedding planner and doing most of this yourself.)
It is my ...Wedding Planning Bundle
And one of the things it will help you with is ...sorting out your guestlist.
So you can know who is coming, who is bringing a plus one, who has any dietary restriction e.t.c
It will also help with so many other things too ...but i don't want this to be so long.
But if you want to check it out
To Wrap it Up...
Making a guest list might not be the flashiest part of wedding planning, but it’s one of the most important.
So take your time
Block out the noise
And trust yourself.
You’ve got this.
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i'll see you in my next post.
Mwahhh
Byeeee💗
You’ve GOT to read this next...
Your guest list seems innocent… until it’s not.
One minute, you’re jotting down names.
The next, you’re inviting your mom’s best friend’s neighbor.
Let’s avoid that. Here are 6 guest list mistakes you don’t want to make.
Not every wedding is memorable — but yours will be.
This is your no-stress guide to creating a wedding experience your guests will actually feel (and talk about for weeks).
Stuck between keeping your guest list small and avoiding family drama?
Here’s how to create your wedding guest list without offending your mom or your in-laws
Planning your wedding as a people pleaser? ...Girl i understand.
Here’s how to actually set boundaries without guilt, stress, or family drama