Decisions you didn’t know you had to Make: Ceremony Edition
Let’s talk CEREMONY.
Because everyone’s out here telling you
“pick your venue, pick your dress, pick your flowers”
Meanwhile the ceremony...
The literal reason you’re getting married - is sitting there with 101 little decisions that no one warned you about.
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But that's why you have me.
I’m here to make sure nothing catches you off guard on your big day.
Let’s get into it.
1. Are you doing a first look… or waiting until the aisle moment?
I know everybody loves and wants the "gasping when they walk down the aisle".
But i love first look because it gives you time.
Like…so much time.
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If you choose to skip first look, it's still okay
...just know your cocktail hour basically becomes “photo hour.”
2. Where exactly are you lining up before the ceremony?
You’d be shocked how many venues don’t even have a real spot.
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But are you tucked behind a wall?
In a hallway?
Standing outside in the heat?
Please ask.
Please visualize it.
And please pick a place where you’re not sweating, tripping, or accidentally in full view of your guests.
3. Who’s walking when… and in what order?
Sounds simple …until everyone starts asking:
“Do I go now?”
“Who follows who?”
“Do grandparents go before or after parents?”
Decide the order early so the
rehearsal isn’t chaotic.
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And also …don’t forget to assign someone to cue people.
Because someone has to cue people.
4. Are guests sitting wherever… or are you choosing sides?
It’s 2025.
Most couples do open seating.
But if you want your family’s vibe together, or certain photos to look more symmetrical, choosing sides may make sense.
No wrong answer …just don’t let the usher make the decision for you.
5. How do you want your processional music to flow?
Are you doing one long song for everyone?
and maybe a switch when you walk in?
Or dramatic pause before the doors open?
Cos girl… the music controls the entire mood.
So tell your DJ or musicians exactly what moment you want the shift to happen.
6. Are you walking yourself, or is someone walking you?
And if someone is walking you…
Are they walking slow?
Are they rushing?
Are you linking arms or holding hands?
Are they peeling off halfway or staying until the altar?
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This shouldn't even be in here cos you should practice this during your wedding rehearsal.
But anyways its important ...so yeah
7. Are you doing a “no phones” ceremony… or letting everyone snap away?
Phones will ruin your aisle photos if someone leans out at the wrong second.
So if you want unplugged, your officiant needs to announce it CLEARLY at the start.
Or do the “one photo moment” where your guests take pics for one minute and then put their phones away.
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Works way better in my opinion.
8. Are you exchanging personal vows or sticking to the classic ones?
If you're doing personal vows
Are they private?
Are they for just you two during the first look?
Or are they public?
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Alsoo
How long are they?
(1 minute is enough ...your saying your vows not a recap of your relationship.)
9. Do you want unity rituals or other traditions… or are you skipping all that?
Unity Rituals?
Handfasting?
Cultural rites?
Scripture readings?
Poems?
All cute, but also ...do you actually care about it?
If you don't, skip it.
No one will fight you.
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But if you're not sure and you're still thinking about it?
... just make sure you decide early.
So your officiant can build your script around it.
11. Are guests standing or seated when you walk in?
Some cultures stand automatically.
Some don’t.
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If you want them to stand, your officiant needs to say it.
Trust me ...nothing is more awkward than walking in while everyone stares from their chairs like you're the new kid in class.
12. What happens right after you kiss?
Are you walking straight out?
Are you doing a pause and cheering moment?
Are you doing a recessional dance?
Are you hugging your parents first?
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That transition sets the tone for the rest of the day.
13. Are you releasing guests row by row… or letting them flow out naturally?
Row release = everything organized and slow.
Free flow = fast but chaotic.
So choose based on whether you want a receiving line vibe or not.
14. Are you doing post-ceremony group photos right away?
If yes…where?
At the altar?
Outside?
Under the arch?
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Also lighting matters
...if the sun is violent at that time, you’ll hate those photos later.
15. Do you want bubbles, petals, confetti… or a clean exit?
These things look cute on Pinterest ...but they require effort!
-Who’s handing them out?
-When are they handing them out?
-Where are your guests standing?
-Is the venue okay with cleanup?
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Delibrate and choose wisely.
also alot inside venues hate confetti ...just saying.
16. Is your officiant doing housekeeping announcements… or are you assigning that to someone else?
People don’t just magically know what to do.
Like:
-Where to sit
-When to stand
-Where phones should be
-What will happen after
-When to head to cocktail hour
-Who needs to stay for photos
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So if you don't already have someone else handling it?
...then discuss with your officiant to handle them for you.
17. And last one… where are YOU keeping your stuff?
Your phone, lip gloss, blotting sheet ...bouquet after the kiss.
Who is holding them?
Is your MOH collecting things?
Is the coordinator taking them?
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Tiny decisions that'll save you so much stress.
And there you have it, brideys.
Its a wrappp.
Now you won't be the bride scrambling on the day-of.
You'll be the bride who walks in like…
“Yes, I planned all of this...NOTHING can sneak up on me”
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Anyhuu😅
If you have any questions or suggestions.
Just email me (plannarly@gmail.com).
I love hearing from you guys.
And i'll see you in my next post.
Byeeee💗.
You’ve GOT to read this next...
Who stands where? ..Who walks when?
If you’ve ever wondered how the whole ceremony lineup actually works, this post breaks it down sooo clearly you’ll feel like a pro (without needing a planner).
Planning your wedding rehearsal without a planner?
This step-by-step guide walks you through exactly what to do, who should be there, and how to keep things calm (not chaotic) the night before your big day.
Writing your vows and lowkey panicking? Here’s how to write wedding vows that don’t sound like a cringe rom-com or a school essay.
Real, heartfelt, and totally you—without the stress.