How to Communicate With Your Wedding Vendors (When You’re Planning It All Yourself)

One of the scariest parts of planning your own wedding?...

Is realizing you are now the middleman for literally everything.

No planner. No buffer.

Just you and a bunch of strangers you’re trusting with your one big day.

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And here’s the thing

...your vendors are not mind-readers.

They need details.

They need clarity.

....They need you to tell them what’s in your head -in a way that’s easy for them to work with.

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So let’s break it down, vendor by vendor, and talk about How to actually communicate with them in a way that keeps you sane.

This is the person who will literally follow you around all day.

You’ll see them more than your partner that morning.

...So they need to get you.

• Tell them your non-negotiables.

  If there’s one shot you’d cry over missing

  (like with your grandma before the ceremony), say it early and say it often

• Be specific about what you want and what you don’t.
  If you love candids, tell them you love candids.

If you hate overly edited orange-tinted photos, tell them you hate that.

• Ask how they like to communicate

 Email, calls, shared Google doc?

You need to stick to their preferred method so nothing gets lost.

• Ask about their style of directing.

  Some photographers are very pose-y, others hang back.

  Knowing this ahead means you won’t be shocked when they either act like a drill sergeant or a ninja.
  
  

• And also make sure your timeline matches theirs

Think of them as your “wedding landlord”.

They have rules ...some reasonable, some random

and if you don’t know them upfront, you can accidentally hire vendors who break them.

So get their rules in writing.

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So;

• Ask for the full list of venue rules in writing (decor, candles, noise, catering, clean-up).

• Confirm who your day-of contact is

...and get their phone number.

• Tell them early about your vendor choices

Some venues have preferred lists, and they might charge extra if you use outside vendors.

• Double-check access times.

  You don’t want florist showing up at 8AM

  ...if doors open at 10.

Food is emotional.

It can either make guests gush about your wedding or grumble in the car ride home.

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So;

• Be super clear about dietary needs and guest count (...and follow up if it anything changes).

• Taste test everything!

  Even the sides. Even the cake fillings.

• Discuss the serving style early (...buffet, plated, family-style?)

...so they can plan staff accordingly.

• Talk about timing

  If they are serving plated ...How long does it take to serve 120 plates?

  You need to know so your timeline doesn’t implode.

• Get their plan for leftovers or packing food for you after the reception

   tell them early, not when they’re already packing up.

• Finally if they’re not in-house.

  You need to make sure they actually fit with the venue’s setup ....so figure that out before the wedding day

 I lovee florists

...but they’re artists

which means they might hear

“wild and natural” and give you something that looks like it grew in the rainforest💀

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So;

• Show pictures but explain what you like about them.

  “I love the colors in this bouquet, but I want it smaller”.

• Give them your budget before they start designing

A good florist can make magic within your budget, but only if you’re upfront.

• Ask about delivery and set-up

  Especially if you want flowers moved from ceremony to reception.

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Alot of brides don’t realize florists don’t always stick around.

You might think those gorgeous ceremony arrangements will magically appear at your reception

But unless you’ve talked about it

...they’ll still be sitting by the altar.

This is your vibe manager.

Your mood setter.

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So;

• Give them a “must play” list and a “do not play”

• Share the exact order of events with timings.

So they know exactly when to hit your first dance song.

• Confirm if they’ll make announcements.

  Not every DJ is comfortable being a MC.

• Finally double-check they have backup equipment.

Sounds simple

...it’s just dessert

Nope.

The timing, design, and delivery also matter.

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So;

• Confirm delivery time and who will set it up.

  some bakers will just drop it off

• Discuss flavors and how they’ll be labeled for guests

...especially because of those with allergies

• Double-check the serving sizes.

  Some “3-tier” cakes barely feed 50 people.

• Finally if your cake is also part of the décor...

  Tell them your reception start time ...so it looks fresh when people see it.

  
  
  

You’ll start your day with them

...so their energy matters as much as their skill.

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So;

• Bring photos to your trial

  Both of what you like and what you don’t...

• Confirm how long each person's makeup will take...

So your timeline stays on track.

• Any skin sensitivities you or your bridesmaids have ...share it!

• If you want to touch up later ...ask them to write down the products they used.

  
  
  

You’ll start your day with them

...so their energy matters as much as their skill.

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So;

• Confirm pick-up and drop-off times.

  “Sometime in the morning” is not enough.

• Know the capacity and make sure everyone fits comfortably

• Also think about who’s going first.

  Do you want to drop off part of the bridal party first?

  ...plan that ahead

• Parking ...important

  Check where your cars can park at each location.

  Not just for convenience, but for photos too.

  Sometimes random cars end up in the background of your ceremony or couple shots.

  ...And it dosen't really look cute

• Finally always have a backup plan

Tables, chairs, linens, lighting ...basically the stuff that makes your space work.

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So;

• Get every single item in writing.

  Sizes, colors, quantities.

• Confirm drop-off/pick-up times.

  If they pick up at midnight and your party is still going, that’s a problem.

• When they arrive...

  Make sure someone is there checking each item against the list on arrival.

  ...so you can be sure they brought everything

• Finally ask about their policy for damaged or missing items.

  Some rental companies are chill.

  while some will charge you the price of a small car for one missing chair.

  You don’t want surprises.